Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Ohhh...my!
Just recently I made two very hard decisions. I can not tell you what they are, but I know at least one of them will reflect on my life later. I know I chose right but they hurt and I feel like I am such a little kid. I am seeing how much I need God's wisdom in every area in my life. As I am seeing my needs I am drawing closer to Jesus and He is drawing to me. In the times I feel loneliest I run to Him. I don't understand these plans He has for me, but I know in time He will show me this growing time is for the good. I never want to stop growing.
I am leaving on Monday and I won't be back until the 17th. We, my family and I, are staying in a friends cabin in the Snowquamie area. There are no phones and no electricity so I will be nonexistent for a week! I'm gonna have a blast! I am taking Partner and he and I are going to go swimming and hiking and tons of stuff.
I will have my mentor(who's other name is Mommy) to talk to and time to get in shape physically and mentally.
I miss talking with you all!
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6 comments:
OH MY....I have no idea what you're talking about, but whatever it is and no matter how much you feel like it affects other people....(even your closest friends)....I'm proud that you feel that you have prayerfully considered with wisdom making such a hard choice and that you will grow.
I'll be nothing short of extactic to talk to you some day and have you tell me you feel that the Peace and Excitement that comes with knowing that making the hard decisions when you were younger paid off in full when God chose to bring you into Womanhood. I'll be just as excited when that happens in my life too of course.
Anyway, I'm about to call you, hopefully the decision wasn't that you don't need to talk to me anymore, but if something like that ever does come on your heart, I'll be glad to see your priorities where they should be. Anyway, I'm going now.
Wesly
PS....God's blessings become so much more evident when you're not wrapped up in what you want.....He has given me so much to enjoy in my life right now and even more to look forward to in obedience.
OH NO.....I'm not going to enter womanhood. You get the point though.
Hmmm...
I don't think you would be intrested in my petty decision. If I have somthing to say, don't worry I will say it.
Well, I feel in the dark!!! :(
Well, bye......you're up at the cabin right now, relaxing and praying, and praising (through joy) and hopefully recieving council from your parents. Good stuff.
Right now, TODAY, I feel just plain tired and a little more than upset. I am mostly upset now that I have to interact with people on the days that I am not myself and that the memories created on that day are hard to fight.
Tomorrow will be a great day, I have FREE TIME!
So what I mean is, I feel terrible at times about how people 'might' start to think of me. When it gets to the point where they no longer strongly say that I'm a bold young man living for christ and it becomes, well..he is a great guy, but ...??...
I felt terrible earlier, when I was talking to you, because I found myself in the middle of a self created 'situation' that I didn't know how to remedy, but I really am OK now.....I'm not worried.
The world, friends included (as hard as that is to accept) is a secondary relationship and influence in my life.
God is using this time to make me what I always wanted to be, more cautious of what I say and how I say it......the quiet guy, whose words mean something because he has taken the time to get the word of God deeply in his heart. He is using this lonliness and large distance from the place I've considered home for at least 2 years to make me more content so that when I am in a group of people that are nothing like me or can't relate I will still feel His presence.
I have a lot of work to do, but I will at least be growing into somebody worth being friends with, and eventually worshiping with and following as a youth pastor.
Is my attitude any better.......can you feel it?
I'll be leaving for church camp on the 1st, but other than that I'm around till the 18th.
Talk to you when you get back...Wesly
OH......and the commitments my friends make to live life according to God's will...........SO matter to me.
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